5 Ways to Be in a Healthy Relationship with Yourself
“What we give to ourselves in mindful care we extend to everyone else compassionately.”
More often than not many of us do not allow ourselves to just be with and accept the person we truly are. This is an area that took me “hot” minute to find and enjoy being in a relationship with myself.
Like many women, I had spent most of my life editing myself to please other people instead of getting to know and be in a comfortable relationship with all aspects of my life. I wasn’t confident enough to believe that the “true” me was indeed more than enough – that I was perfect already! Until it slowly began to dawn on me that I was not fighting others – I was resisting my beautiful self the daily opportunity to shine and affirm others along the way.
The process of me moving into the space of my very own life that had always been there for me began when I took my first ever mind-body class and realized that I truly mattered in a tear-filled moment at the end of class during a time called “savasana” when we were given the gift of silence.
Being in a good relationship with yourself first opens the door and paves the way for all other relationships including professional, spiritual, romantic, financial to name a few. You see… it all starts between you and yourself.
Here are some thought tips to get you thinking and in the process:
Care for your needs.
A great way to cultivate your self – is for you to take care of your physical needs. This includes taking care of your sleep needs, diet, exercise, relaxation, and social connections.
Notice your self-talk.
How do you talk to yourself when things are going great and when the unexpected happens? Do you talk to yourself like you would a good friend who needs your support? If you see a thought pattern of talking down to yourself with judgment and comparison pause here and sit with this information. Come up with a personal “mantra” statement or affirmation and have this handy to use throughout your day. Using this daily will begin to counter your “less” than talk and create a new shift into loving self-talk. This was key for me! Examples : “I am bold and beautiful” or “I am a caring person” or “I am strong and abundant.”
Meditate daily in stillness and silence.
Gather yourself in a time of daily stillness and silence at the beginning -midday or days end to just be as you are. When you take as little as two minutes you give your overactive mind a chance to gather in calm, renew, and reset. The result? Clarity moves in while thought clutter moves out. Our overactive minds crave and need calm and stillness.
In the busyness of daily life, many of us move into seeing life as serious which covers the lens of joy over. We need both of these to balance the other.
Prioritize daily activities that bring you joy along the way and cultivate these as part of the fabric of your day to day along with your work. Daily joy for me is being in my AM routine and getting outdoors for my daily walk with our family dog! I’ve made this top priority and receive such joy.
Let go of your inner perfectionist.
Maybe you spend a lot of time getting ready to go in the morning if you work outside the home or obsess over tiny details under your care at work and home adding additional stress and pressure to “look the part and “have” everything under control. This is exhausting not to mention emotionally draining. Perfection thinking and actions send a message to your psyche that “you” do not believe in yourself. This is not true. Let it go, sister!.
Learn to love and accept yourself. What you do is and has always been more than enough. Learning to love and accept all of ourselves – talents and flaws allow us to live in and be in a healthy relationship with ourselves. This is the fabric of what it is to live fully!